Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 17 of 33}

Ok. will be out of town and possibly might not get internet service, but will bring my laptop just in case there is signal. thank you Sameer.

Jenny

Hi Sameer,
Able to get internet service. Reporting on the last dose of Puls. Feeling alright mentally. was a little sad at beginning of reunion because i felt like i can't eat the foods they eat, and when they ask why and i try to explain the family members just seem confused or not understanding. which is fine i guess, ive come to accept that most people wont understand the nature of the disease. i gave in yesterday and had things i shouldn't be having, like a glass of wine and a couple coffees, and desserts.

physically, feeling pretty crappy. my back really hurts and my skin has broken out especially on my chest.

can't think of much else significant. i tried doing yoga the other day and am very sore from the very little i did. back burns quite a bit and need to lay down, very tired.

will be home tomorrow afternoon and will check back with you...

thanks sameer :)
jenny

Hi Sameer,
Just thought i would do an update. should have the puls LM3 and 4 any day now.

The mental stuff has been pretty ok for the most part. Physically stuff has been really difficult at times. My skin has been really terrible and its making me feel gross. still allergic to cat especially when she goes outside. but its not like im sneezing non stop like last year.

One night, i woke up around 3 am feeling very nauseous and hot like i had a fever but i had no temp. and my skin was clammy. the room was really stuffy im not sure if it was from that or not. i was able to get up and get water and open the window for fresh air. after the nausea went away i got a headache and then i was able to go back to sleep. i rarely get nauseous, not sure what caused this but my dad suggested i was short on oxygen due to stuffy room. he said he felt that way once.

headaches are off and on. i've been eating a lot of not good food that makes me feel bad. i feel sick when i eat good and healthy and at least when i eat what i crave or what other people usually eat, i can get thru the day easier. otherwise without those food comforts, its hard to get through a full day of work. and even still, i dont work full 8 hour days. 6 is typical and im still always tired. not just sleepy, like weak and exhausted and in pain.

dreams have been a little weird but don't know what to think of them. at times have been a little afraid to sleep in the dark but i think thru it rationally and am usually able to quiet my mind and go to sleep.

Went to the fair in town this week and actually went on rides that go pretty high in the air. They made me pretty nervous but i did it anyway because someone wanted me to. and when it was over i was glad i did it and had fun. but still...those carnie rides are scary!

very achey all over.

Will let u know when the puls comes in, let me know if u want me to do something else.

Hope your weekend went well.
Thank you Sameer

Hello, I have Puls LM3 and LM4 with me now.

Sameer, in bad shape. don't think its from remedy but not sure. the night before taking puls dose, my back started to get uncomfortable. The next day it felt out of place and the muscles were very tight, took dose around 3pm. went to the chiropractor, nothing has helped and it only got worse and worse. this morning i could barely get out of bed from the muscle spasms. got massaged for 30 mins and it only helped as long as i was on the table. the pain was so intense and i had to go out of town today, i couldn't stand the pain i had to take a muscle relaxer im sorry. i've never had this severe of muscle spasms all over my back.

Location is always most intense in Mid back,but spasms have occured in my lumbar muscle group as well in the past when i did more lifting. its the muscle group on each side of the spine. usually it burns and it is uncomfortable, but when it spasms it almost feels like if i move i'm being stabbed, restricted, much shooting pain. or like theres a rock in my muscle. This muscle group attaches down the back to the hips, glutes and front hip flexors. what makes it better is pressure. when i got massaged yesterday, he applied pressure, but its like once he'd get it to 'go away' or lessen in intensity in that spot, it shifts and relocates somewhere else. it usually alters which side and how far up the spine it goes. so theres never much relief when i get to that point. right now its my right side, its literally like a rope that goes all the way along each side of my spine. Its so tough that most massage therapists, i have to teach them how to massage it. i get no relief if they just massage lightly or moderately over the top of the muscle group, the knots and tension is underneath the muscle group almost and needs to be attacked from the sides.

aside from pressure, heat helps. but not even both of these helped relieve the spasms this time. It is hard to say when it is worse or better as far as times of the day. the discomfort is always there, but i've gotten use to it. sometimes its worse later in the day when i've been in motion, and laying down with heat helps, but also... sometimes motion helps? i think its the fibromyalgia that is doing that. same with exercise, like i do good moving around for so long, but if its TOO long...i screw myself.

when im in that much physical pain the only things i can do is either laugh or cry. I have no energy to even talk much. when im alone, i'll cry. when around people ...i'll try to make a joke out of it. if its really severe like the other day...i cried in front of my ex when he was trying to work on the spasm points for me.

i realized that it wasn't a muscle relaxer i took, but a pain killer. noticed after i took it it made my skin itch and made me nauseous like vicodin used to when i took that all the time. its called tramadol. i looked it up and i was right it was an opiate. anyway, my back is less spasmed today so i can assure you i wont be taking that again. i couldn't sleep all last night because of the nausea and i tried to make myself throw up but i must've been too dehydrated to do that. if I would have not had to travel i wouldn't have taken the prescription. hate taking them.

Hello Sameer,

I took 2 pellets dissolved in 250 ml water and 1 teaspoon from there. I hope that was correct when you say single dose.

It seems to have produced a small fever the next day. It was around 99.6. I didn't even notice i had a fever, the only reason i knew is because i had my temp taken at the doctor's office. The only other physical change i've noticed is that there was some extra vaginal discharge with a tinge of yellow to it. thats unusual for me.

As you know i've been very sick lately, its been hard to work regular hours. Lots of fatigue and pain. I'm sure you have also noticed in dealing with me that its very difficult for me to make decisions. I made the decision in the last couple days to seek help with lyme thru multiple modalities. I am hoping you will be able to continue advising me as you have been, but i will explain what I am talking about so that you can decide for yourself.

I've still been having the abx vs hp treatments thing weigh on my mind lately. I wanted to speak directly to a lyme literate doc who i believed to not be one of those pro-abx only. Yesterday I visited a nice lyme literate natural doctor who is very supportive of her patients using homeopathy, herbs, supplements, natural therapies and lifestyle/diet changes to help treat lyme. In fact, if a patient of hers says NO abx, she does what is asked of her and she treats w/o them. I still do not 100% like the idea of going on abx, and i know you explained the concept quite well, but i haven't been able to shake the little voice in my head that feels very strongly that i need them for at least a short duration to get a jump on this disease. The LLND is not forcing them on me, but she strongly feels that they will help quicker than going 'all natural.' She's seen a lot of patients and she feels that abx coupled with many other modalities is the best route to healing, and given my history of infection she suggests a slow pace with pulsed doses of abx because of my heavy bacteria load. I told her about you and how much i want to continue working with you, and she 100% supports that, only if you are still willing. This is a tough report for me to make because i've feared you will drop my case study, I wanted to be sure that this is something i want to pursue before speaking about it, and now that i've decided.. i have to be honest, even if i risk losing your valued direction. i sincerely hope that you will want to continue on my case, however, I completely understand why you wouldn't wish to continue if the treatments she is recommending conflict with your methods. I respect your decision if you decide not to continue with me, and i hope that some day when im off abx that you would consider picking my case back up if there are any issues lingering. I hope this doesn't sound like I don't want to continue with you, because nothing would make me happier or more grateful. And again...if you are willing...the ND is more than willing to work around your suggestions. When i mentioned some of the progress i've made and handed her the list of remedies i've been on, she was very interested and supportive in being of help to you in any way. If I change my mind on abx at any time.. she will not deter me. I haven't taken any prescriptions yet, she wants to start me on Diflucan for 10 days, Chlorella and Bentonite to help my system control some yeast concerns to prep for treatments. She suspects around a year minimum of on and off again abx and continuous natural therapies. she also suggests having important vitamins injected because I am not assimilating anything in my digestive system.

I told her i wanted to talk to you first, and see what your thoughts were before i started on anything.

I hope there is a way we can continue, but please reply with what you feel is best. you're amazing in my book even if you drop me.

Thank you so much, Sameer.

Jenny

Thank you!!! This made my day :)

I will tell her about this suggestion, I'm sure she will have no problem with it. She is very interested in doing what her patients feel is best for them. Thank you so much again :)

Jenny

Is there anything u suggest taking next?

I haven't talked to her yet and i assume i wont until tuesday. plus, my insurance hasn't gone through yet.

Let me know what you think...
Jenny

The back spasms went away soon after the pain killers.

i cant say my back has been overly burning, there is still stiffness in the morning a lot. but other than that, its the usually uncomfortable back i'm used to. theres definitely no spasms going on that are causing me pain.

spirits have been alright considering a passing situation. got a little emotional a day or 2 ago, but i think i'm alright now.

it was like a lesson that i thought i had already learned a hundred times only to find out i obviously didn't learn at all. just made me feel kind of stupid and sad. it was along the lines of male attention. sometimes its nice to hear nice things, even if you know the person inflating your ego probably is more concerned more about what you can do for them, than how you're really feeling. so, a little put off by men and thinks it should be easier to just not talk to them, except i like feeling ...i dont know, wanted i guess. cared for. but me and my ex are still good friends and im really grateful for him.

i had a slight fever again a couple days ago too. not major, but in the morning as usual.

It was good I think. But I think I'm kinda sad now from that situation. Startin to feel anti social again, just kind of hurt feelings I guess.

I think im following, going to list what sounds like me:

'There is no cowardice, as in lycoodium'
--i'd like to think i'm fairly courageous considering long lived infection/ condition and the fact i haven't given up yet.

'polar opposites/bi polar'
--i feel like i have a lot of characteristics that conflict with each other and are completely opposite. Its funny because even the lyme disease, the way that bacteria continuously changes and mutates in order to survive, its kinda how i haphazardly try to live myself. i love spontineity but then i like certain things to be planned and controlled.

'We see the hyperactivity in children, increased sexual desire, amelioration by the ocean, genupectoral sleep position, desire for salt, sweets and fats, and insomnia'
-- thats common for me now. maybe not so much hyperactive, not sure. but i feel good sleeping with on stomach or side with one leg up and arms above head.

'We see the fastidiousness and desire for salt, worse with consolation, desire for chocolate. We see the love of dancing.'
--even though i seek consolation, sometimes i am worse from it if its not desperately needed. its random and bipolar-ish. I also loved to dance as a child, and wish i had the confidence and health to do it now, sometimes im jealous of dancers.

'...cancer as having two phases, that of fever, heat, or inflammation....'
--not if this is related, but i've been told there is a LOT of internal heat in my core, cold extremities. I believe i've had quite a few fevers growin up and i believe i have spikes now.
--PS. i was reading something once on sepia when researching lyme and homeopathic treatment for it. came across a woman's case study who was sepia. that description sounded a lot like me.

'frequently one hears, 'I used to LOVE eggs, but now i hate them.'
-- i do that with foods. ill have to quit them for a loooong time before i ever have another craving for it, if i ever have another craving that is.

---the only addictions i've really formed is addiction to caffeine and probably sexual desires. but again...the sex has to have emotional substance behind it, wont be good for me if i dont know the person extremely well.

'love of dancing and music, desire for travel, and exhilaration in a thunderstorm.'
--again, kinda jealous of people that can sing and dance. i can play the piano and draw but i wish i could express myself in song and dance.

'One sometimes finds a history of promiscuity, but just as often a few long-term relationships,......... The Carcinosin patient's relationship to sexuality is emotional rather than genital............Eventually, therefore, the individual realizes that casual sex is not what he or she really wants. Thus the promiscuity tends to develop into a long-term commitment, or becomes complicated by coffee......etc.'
--- YES!

' fastidiousness of the Natrum-muriaticum patient, which it resembles; it is usually for order, rather than for dirt.'
--i will organize before i literally clean something. i dont let stuff get too dirty but order is above clean for sure.

'outwardly the Carcinosin patient is not necessarily more persnickety .......... it is the result of a rigidity, a need to control that stems from the patient's knowledge that he or she is sitting upon a wildfire which is potentially all- consuming if not strictly contained. It is the same sensation that generates a fearful reaction when sickness arises, etc....'
--YES!

--there is fear of death, and maybe not even in just the physical form. death of relationships are hurtful to me. death of people close to me.

--desire to please

'the Carcinosin pathology arises when the boundless centripetal life energy and great sensitivity to and concern for others are constricted, confined, and traumatized by the cold and brutal facts of life.'

'high sexual energy, very social, sympathetic, and clairvoyant'
--clairvoyants call me clairvoyant, but im a little scared to death to be as clairvoyant as they, im just extremely sensitive for what appears to be no reason

'Control by rigid, almost sadistic parents or spouses is a form of unhappiness often found in these cases.'
--not sadistic parents, but rigid, not so much emotional.

'sensitive to reprimand'
--very much as a child and young adult even. lately...less so.

-- guilt, alot, kind of less lately, but its still very much there.

'identifying keynotes: the food cravings, the constipation, the sleeplessness, and the high fevers suggestive of intense energy lurking beneath the tranquil surface.'

--family history, not much cancer. there is my moms sister who has lung cancer. and some aunts and uncles hat married into the family that died of cancer. depression seems to be a common theme. i guess my uncle had some kind of skin cancer that was short lived, and i want to say enlarged prostate or testicular cancer. but im not sure. my grandpa had a heart attack. other grandpa, very old...kidney failure. Grandma, car accident. other grandma, very old..old age? she had macular degeneration and alzeimers. didnt know who we were very much.

'It loves to dance and travel, and is affected one way or another by the ocean. exhilarated by thunderstorms.
Carcinosin is strongly moved by music. They tend to like classical music, though others will like rock. I have observed an aversion to jazz in several patients.'
--no aversion to jazz but its not somehing i put on when i think to listen to music. i like to play classical on the piano, usually somber or beautiful ones, not high paced or racy. i also like listening to hip hop and r&b and some rock/ alternative. i love an empty house and cleaning to music.

'often sleeps spread-eagled, arms and legs outstretched.'
how i sleep each night varies at times. but when discomfort arises if i sleep like this or with one leg up and arms over head, it helps. also have fallen asleep in the past in weird positions like with my but on the arm of a couch and my head and body sprawled, cushioned by pillows, legs dangling off the side of couch.

--prolonged suffering, severe fright

'aversion to meat fat, sweets, salt, fruit, milk, and eggs'
--meat fat makes me wanna throw up in my mouth. i like sweets and salt but need alot of water to flush suff out afterward. fruit ...heartburn. and i like eggs but in the past they have made me feel a lil funny.

'cramps at ovulation'

'desire for soup' -- love soup. mostly clearer or less thick broths, but not always just clearer broths.

--craves coffee but is sensitive to it

--i've been with 3 white men, the rest since age 19 has been black or mixed men. i've had some shaky experiences, the first one abusive, but i would like to think i've picked out better men since then. my most recent ex is black and he is a very good friend now.

--very interesting read, some really resonated with me, the abuse...i havent had a lot of physical abuse. nothing like what was described. and really, it started when i was 19. emotional abuse...if you can call it that...i would say is a little more common but only because im so sensitive. and really, sometimes i think i put myself in situations to be emotionally or verbally abused.

the 30c i have is liquid. should i put 2 drops in 250 ml water and take the 3 teaspoons spaced 30 mins apart?

I didn't know I had vertigo?