Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 12 of 33}

Hi Sameer,

I've been feeling very odd.

Saturday the 6th:
was so irritable, i was mad from the night before. i had plans with boyfriend and plans had been going awry all day so i was looking forward to the night. he didn't sound as excited when i talked to him so my mood shifted enough for me to decide to stay home alone. i left work early on saturday and was mad at bf or just plain mad. i yelled at him thru text and then after he said sorry i cried and felt like i didn't even know who i was anymore. i got sleepy.

Sunday 7th:
i got somewhat motivated again. tired around 10 am. trying not to plan things. waking up around 5-6 am, going to sleep around 11pm-midnight.
physically: stringy mucous, a lot of draining of mucous.

Monday the 8th:
I was better earlier in the day. there was a change of plans in my trip. I was excited about it until my friend told me the car's wheel fell off (the car we were going to drive to vegas).
got a bad feeling about everything else, forced to book a plane ticket last minute. we leave Saturday now.
physically: tired, not eating much, no appetite, dehydrated, back hurting from inactivity, stopped working out. sleep: woke up at 2, 3, 4 and 6. fell back to sleep relatively easily.

Tues the 9th:
overall feeling withdrawn. feeling better being alone. i think deep down im nervous about flying, the trip, spending money i probably don't have, and i feel like i can't even talk about it to anyone because its all issues i have with myself. usually i look for consolation and i think i'm unsettled because i feel like im not allowing myself to get that consolation. i want everything to feel better but i know that no one can make it that way. i chose to stay alone for the night not talking to family or bf much.

wednesday:
slept tuesday night from 11-5 or 6ish with only a dim light on. i got a feeling that i should confront my fear of sleeping in the dark since i had this icky feeling about confronting my fear of flight, spending money, and no control over my situation. i slept w/o fear and w/o waking up. had dream about my uncle that passed a year ago. i am forcing myself to not make plans or be attached to them. im changing the way i speak about my plans as if i have no control over them, because i am finally admitting i dont.

I went over to bf's house this night. he eventually got tired of whatever attitude he thought i had. he told me i was being a bitch and that i get on his nerves. i left unemotional, just a little upset but i couldn't allow myself to get into it. i went home and took a bath, he apologized quickly and i accepted easily. i had little to say about it.

I slept this night again with only a dim light on. this is dimmer than my regular lights i usually have on. and this is with no tv on either. i had the cat sleep with me for company. i woke up at 3, 4, 430 and 5ish. i had terrifying dreams filled with torture and violence. i was a little afraid when waking up and considered turning on tv but told myself not to.

Today, the 11th...
still a little withdrawn compared to my 'normal' self. wanting to get excited about the trip but also am remaining reserved and am even preparing as if i have to fly alone. its different than before tho. I used to really look for consolation about flying. i am a bit scared. but i feel like there is absolutely nothing i can do to control anything about this situation. i figure if i'm supposed to die in a plane crash, then i will. or you know...something else irrationally morbid :)

I feel like this is a good thing, but i am not getting excited over it because i know there is still some fear facing ahead of me and i feel like i have a lot of alone time ahead of me also. I am trying hard to accept things for whatever they are and not label them as anything.

sorry this is so long but could not think of any other way to explain it than the way i wrote my feelings down day to day.

No period yet but my breasts are a little tender since yesterday. its day 30 of cycle. i have a feeling it will be here in a couple days.

Will await your advice/comments.
Thank you Sameer,
Jenny

Just bumping up since i leave tomorrow.

bump

Ok thanks for reply. Enjoy your travels :)

Hi, Yea...I always thought ArsAlb sounded like some of my issues which is why I wondered why the 6C didn't have an effect when I took it last July.

I visited with an Ayurvedic practitioner in Sedona yesterday and she recommended certain herbs to take along with a vata pacifying lifestyle. I know usually under homeopathic care its best advised to not use herbs of any kind, so i wanted to consult with you before ordering any.

Today I am a bit confused. I strongly feel that all of these fears and anxieties are directly related to some past life issues. I had another 'reading' done yesterday, but in person this time, and they said that i was abused in every way imaginable, i was put down wells to drown and when that didn't work i was beaten and burned and blamed for everything gone wrong with my family. I paid for all of their transgressions. My mother especially didn't want me, but I still forgave them. This would explain why I constantly feel guilty when things go wrong with people i love. or why i feel so broken for no good reason. nothing in this lifetime was really traumatic for me which makes me want to believe what they are saying. But then another part of me is skeptical and untrusting of my intuition on that. i feel like i need help getting over these fears but this ayurvedic lady says do it this way, and i think your way has been effective so far so i want to continue treatment with you. i am just feeling extremely confused and a bit lost in my life in general. I don't quite know what I'm good at or what my calling is. i'm sure this feeling will pass in the next few days. if you have any advise as far as your treatment goes and what you think is going on with me i'm open to that. and i'm still open to being treated solely by your methods.

Thanks Sameer,
Tired (Jenny)

PS. if you wanted me to try ars 30c i am in Phoenix so i can get my hands on that pretty easy.

Alright. Will do my best to be clear and thorough.



Physical Symptoms:

-one side of the nose is usually clogged. the ayurvedic lady suggested i use neti pot and oil in the nose.

-burning in back, middle. was told i have severe vata imbalance and its collecting in that area. it is better with heat, heavy pressure, massage, lying down.

-acne on face mostly, worse before menses, desire to pick at face and get the pores unclogged. acne can flair up on back and neck and chest also

-feet and hands are often cold

-aggrivated from cold and wind

-big toes have a mild fungus infection. nothing really bad like when i was younger, but the nail surface is a little bumpy.

-patchy psoriasis type patches in hairline. they go away when i use a certain shampoo extra zinc in it.

-neck is feeling restricted and tight just as my back is.

-shoulders roll in, hard to stretch, hips tilt forward, puts strain on lower back. pain upon stretching hamstrings.

-weakness in digestion, liver, mucous membrane (sinuses), weak heart and chest cavity is disturbed (extreme tightness in spine)

-unable to gain weight past 124 lbs, i am 5'8 and would like to become at least a healthy, strong 130. the ayurvedic lady said that I was too vata to withstand heavy physical exercise and that yoga and stretching would better strengthen me. she limited heavy cardio to 20 mins every other day.

-pains of burning nature, but are better with heat. can hardly ever be too warm.

Mental/Emotional:

-emotional disturbances stemming from fears of not bein in control, fear of the future at times, and if i am using my time wisely. I feel like i have so many useful things i could be doing but no willpower or confidence to start. I'm afraid i would be making a mistake to start one thing and if i started the other thing i'd wonder if that was a mistake too. i do worry about money. I'm not sure if greedy is the right word as of lately, but stingy still...its even still difficult to let go of larger amounts of money, i've felt it while on my trip and paying for things. I feel almost expectant, like people close to me should help me financially, but i wont ask for it directly. Not ever. when i am offered money or free things sometimes my pride won't let me accept, depending on the situation. i would say i require a certain atmosphere to feel comfortable in. must be clean. this is vague...but my surroundings need to feel warm and comforting in order for me to be comfortable. i was told that this is because i am extremely sensitive to certain energies.

-on this trip, i have been nervous about flying. but i would say im improving a little bit. although, i was nervous enough about the trip overall that i hadn't been eating much and my stomach was upset to the point of my digestion and bowel movements being disturbed. Also, when driving i feel more in control of the situation, but when driving on windy roads in the mountains ive been a bit tense even still. i remain cautious and dont slow down to a really slow pace or anything like that. i just go at a comfortable speed and tense up and try not to look down unless i feel its safe to do so. when i feel safe, i enjoy the views. but..if OTHER people were driving and i was passenger...i would be much more uncomfortable with the situation.

-i am usually extremely honest and open with my feelings until i feel uncomfortable or threatened or in the presence of a stranger. i think this leads to me not being able to cope well. i notice that i put up a protective shield even when it might not be necessary.. when places are new to me especially.

-i do relate money to security. i've been called stingy before. i'd like to think i've been improving on this a little but even on this trip i have noticed that whenever i have to spend a lot of money on something i have a not-so-pleasant feeling. This trip has been easier because i just found out that we received inheritance from my grandma's death. but i still worry that i will not have enough money to support my health the way i need to. sometimes i waste a lot of food because i will buy things at the store i don't need but i think i need it. by the time i get around to it its gone bad in the fridge or something like that.
there are of course other times where i am motivated to eat properly and i stay on top of what i buy, i prepare accordingly and nothing is wasted. i am either eating really good, or not good.

-the same goes for when i clean my house. ( i dont have my own house so this would apply more if i had my own house ). When i get in a cleaning mode...i like to keep it clean. so for a while after its clean i will try to keep it that way, but then i go to the opposite end of the spectrum and you will find my room or house looks a mess (clothes and dishes laying out all over). my house is never Dirty, just gets messy when i get in funky moods and don't feel like tending to anything. then i will get a cleaning spurt when its been messy for too long (no more than 1 or 2 weeks) and clean everything up again.

-i can sometimes be an obsessive planner. on this trip i really wanted to plan everything down to a T, but something stopped me because i just don't have the energy to worry about the details anymore. now, i am in phoenix and didn't have any set plans and i feel like i wasted my day yesterday, and that i didn't get to really see anything in phoenix that would show me if i would like to live here (other than the temperature outside). so i felt bad about this and i'm trying to not let it affect the rest of my trip. everyone keeps asking why i'm going back to cali if i am trying to figure out places to live, they think i should be focused more on a place that i HAVENT lived. so peoples opinions to have a large effect on how i feel about my decisions and myself.
i almost have to not talk to people in order to find my voice, but this gets lonely and i really think i benefit from being around people. this might sound confusing, and it is confusing to me also. i crave being around people, nice conversation and pleasant surroundings, things like that...but it has to be when IM ready for it. so soemtimes i feel like a baby because i will push people away and away and then turn around and say ok...im ready to be around people...but no one is there. so, i tend to jump at the chance when other people want to do things with me and i sacrifice my schedule to fit into theirs. i do Great at being alone when I *want* to be alone. but when i want company...i *want* company. fears occur more often when i am alone too.

-i do save things but am not obsessive about it. if i find i get too much clutter i will go thru my stuff and throw things out. but, sometimes its difficult because i think i might need something later. just recently though i went thru a lot of things and threw out even some of my old artwork, or i gave it away.

-i am starting to become ok with the idea of death and letting go of control. on this trip i have been somewhat successful of letting go. but it takes a a real conscious attempt for me to do this. sometimes i am not even aware when i am trying to hold on to control. when i am aware, i try to adjust how i feel about the situation. i think since being treated with homeopathy i have been able to become aware sooner, and i can adjust my mind sooner and maintain control over how i react to certain situations.


This is really long but thats all i can think of. I would like to add...i dont know if this will help you at all... but again, i strongly feel that these issues im having are connected to past lives of mine. its the only thing that makes sense to me, because i have been so fearful for as long as i can remember. there was no starting point or event that was traumatic that could have triggered these things. my family raised me with love and provided financial support, never hurt me, they were good parents. there was normal sibling rivalry with me and my older brother where we would get physically aggressive. i can remember even being very little and when i even *thought* someone was angry (a babysitter or teacher or parent) i would automatically feel like it was my fault. one time my dad bopped me on the head with a newspaper (as a joke and sign of affection, and not even hard) and i went to my room and got sad.

So if i could sum up my greatest weaknesses it would be the heart, chest, breast, lung area..even the ribcage and spine in this area. my menstrual cycle and internal reproductive parts, and my mental emotions are strongly disturbed from time to time.

I hope this is helpful.
Jenny

Ok thank you, i will do that. So...why do u think the 6c did nothing? too low of potency?

Hi Sameer,
I just got home and i have the ARS here waiting, LM1 and LM2.

The plane ride was stressful as usual even though i had my mom flying with me. i drank a little to take the edge off and the whole last week of my trip i would alternate between constipation and loose stool. my back has stiffened up a lot. even though i sat in steam room and hot tub and was relaxing before the plane ride.

would love to stop being afraid of this kind of thing.

Let me know how you want me to proceed...

Thanks!
Jenny

Hi Sameer,
Its been 4 full days since i took the first ars LM1 dose.

I haven't noticed much difference. I'd say I've been in a good mood though. the dreams have been a little morbid when i remember them, but overall they are not affecting me in a negative way. i write them down and then move on with my day. have been only a *little* weird about going to sleep at night. that first night i was home i slept 15 hours STRAIGHT, in the dark and everything. didn't wake up once. but that was the night before taking the first ars dose.

physically i can't notice much difference here either. acne flared up a little bit on chest but i was also traveling home and getting caught up at work and stuff. my bowels are still a little irregular. not sure if its from the traveling/flight. my back has been a bit stiff and congested i guess but i was under a lot of strain traveling. the stress of flying and not sleeping or eating quite right.

can't think of anything else significant to report?

Thanks!
Jenny

Hi Sameer,

It is not a full 4 days yet since dose, 2 1/2 or so. I am getting some skin irritation, itchy, some bumps, especially after bath or shower. and overall i'd say pretty happy mentally. sleeping at night with tv on again just a couple nights.

The main reason for this post is to ask if it would be ok for me to use the following products in conjuction with your treatment:

-ashwagandha powder
-mahanarayan oil
-yogaraj guggulu powder

The ashwagandha and yogaraj guggulu powder were suggested to take 1 tsp each in some hot milk in morning and night. the oil would just be used in massage.
Other than that, i was just suggested to eat warmer foods and develop a routine.

i will list the links below so you can see the ingredients.

i haven't ordered yet, let me know which ones i can use. i'd like to use them all if possible.


Thanks Sameer :)


Links:
http://www.banyanbotanicals.com/prodinfo.asp?number=6082&....
http://www.banyanbotanicals.com/prodinfo.asp?number=3232&....
http://www.banyanbotanicals.com/prodinfo.asp?number=7192&....

alright, i will hold off on that and report in a couple days.

thank you hope you have a good weekend :)

Hi Sameer,
Just giving you an official update.
Since the last dose:

-itchy skin
-bumps after shower and baths that itch
-itchy eyes
-dull aches in ovary area, not sure if im ovulating or not.

-mentally pretty good.
just tired from working so much and not keeping a regular schedule. planning to form a regular schedule for this upcoming week and following weeks. I plan to just do gentle yoga daily and then some 20 mins cardio about 3 days a week. overall pretty decent mentally. not as self conscious as i had been before. seems like im slowly becoming more confident in myself again.

let me know what you advise next
thanks!
jenny

Sooo, its been 4 days.

There has been more pain during intercourse
Dull aches in right ovary
Sometimes cramps like im getting period.
Breasts were only tender for one day
Acne got a little worse
some itching still
and some skin irritation a bit yet. bumps showed up on skin randomly.
much more allergic to the cat
and teeth are more sensitive now.
i was flossing and i think a piece of tooth chipped off, but havent felt like the root was exposed or anything.


Today, i think I spotted very lightly.
its day 27 of my cycle so this was not expected. i doubt i will get period yet.


I have been sleeping with the tv on at times. still sleeping with light on.

I have been a little moody but not severely. just overall kind of exhausted
I haven't left much time for myself. I did all this work for everyone else and with little sleep and little water. I just have been craving other things to drink like either coffee or energy drinks. i didnt drink any the first 2 days after last dose though.

Overall mentally, i think im holding myself together alright. Im working a lot more hours than usual and have been more busy. Not necessarily active from working out, i haven't gotten back into a routine since getting back from trip. i can feel the effects because my back is really tense and im not taking care of myself as well as i should. putting other people ahead me and by the time i get home im so tired i just waste my time doing nothing

Will await your direction.
Thank you...
Jenny

Hi Sameer

after last post, i had brown discharge following day. Kind of got period last night and today, kind of got cramps, but its going away now. i dont know if this is my period or not. i have headache today.
was in good mood until i went to bf's and he was annoyed over my indecisiveness over plans. i dont feel like dealing with that crap today now im in a bad mood because he didnt say anything like 'I understand'. he did after i got home and said something but what good does that do now, the day is over. now i just wanna be left alone and i feel like crying.