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Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? Page 5 of 33

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Hi Sameer :)

Its been a week since my dose of 200c. I don't really notice any significant or drastic change. I still am having the hayfever, mostly now just itchy eyes, worse at night and in morning. Sinuses are draining mostly clear mucus. Sneezing urges the same. Scalp is very scaly in some areas of hairline, itchy and flaky all over mostly when wet. The acne is still bothersome and more than i would like but i am trying to not be so obsessive over it. The hayfever i could say is a tad bit better this week but not by a whole lot. I went out of town to visit family. I was a bit more at ease overall than i anticipated before the puls doses. Tho, there was one point when some family inheritance was discussed where i felt i was getting the short end of the stick. I was tearful, angry and kept to myself close to an hour trying to get emotions under control. I think I dealt with it much better than letting it fester, a bit more accepting and thinking of others and 'the big picture' rather than just myself. Able to go with the flow a bit better. Overall this week i was enjoying the moment more than i usually do and mentally was able to maintain mood without too many imbalances. Not a lot of major changes i've noticed aside from getting over that fever. But I do feel like I am able to express my emotions a bit easier also without feeling 'exposed,' (without feeling a need for defensiveness or protecting self.) I also feel a bit less obsessive about things, food, ideas, at the moment. Doing better i think :)

Will await your comments and/or direction, thanks so much.

Jenny
 
jenny57401 last decade
I think we should wait for 10 more days.
 
sameervermani last decade
ok, i will report then.
thanks!
 
jenny57401 last decade
Hi Sameer,

Its been 10 days. I want to share some highlights in dream patterns this week.

Overall, they were all slightly different than the typical dreams i have.

In one, I had seen beforehand that this child going down a slide was going to fall and i saved her. I was swimming, and mostly melancholy and observant. In another, I dreamed of my best friend who had died in real life back in 2004. I rarely dream of him, i can remember 3 dreams total. It was always weird to me that i never dream of him when he was such a big part of my life, but i suppose because we had little to no physical interaction could be why. we had a large part of communication thru internet and phone. in the dream this week, its almost like i physically went somewhere very real, where he was still alive, and still dying, and still very much in a negative world. He was very matter of fact, as if he didnt care to be speaking to me, as if he remembered nothing of the bond we had and i was so crushed, that he had been alive all this time, and now i couldnt even talk to the guy i had known and loved. By the end of the dream i was so appalled and hurt that i had to get away, and it was then i had a sense that he felt bad for me, almost like he was showing me this for a purpose even tho he knew it would hurt. it left me feeling very confused upon awakening, in tears. i felt almost like i had travelled somewhere and was not quite 'back'. The last dream i had of him was a long time ago. I was also in a hotel but it was different. i saw him thru a window, typing to me on the computer. and he turned to look at me and we had a conversation with our eyes. it was sad, like we both knew we were so close to each other, but he couldnt open the door to let me in. he turned away and continued to type to me.


Other highlights this week, I thought i was doing alot better with my emotions up until this week. I was getting along with people really well. even people i normally don't care for. I had come to accept everyone for who they are much easier, without effort. I do not let negative energies get to me as much, and i welcome positive energies w/o feeling bad about myself because i feel my energy is more positive overall. I even had car troubles this week, usually it would get to me more because its a money issue and it almost did but i remained calm about it and gave in to the fact i could not control what was wrong, so i hoped for the best w/o worry.

Hayfever was really much more worse this week. I got very irritable at times about it, wanting to scream. Itchy eyes, itchy skin. very stuffed up nose couldnt breathe out of either side. thick mucus in the morning. clear - whitish. still worse in morning and night. eyes red, swollen, one day it burned in right eye. as of today, the intensity has died down a little bit. but its still very bothersome and frustrating. My acne has worsened (this whole week was 1 week before menses). This could explain the emotional ups and downs. i thought i did well at catching the swings when i noticed them start.

Another surprising thing this week. I got very upset again over this family inheritance situation. It seems now we will get less than expected. whereas before we were expecting a decent amount. I initially got very upset, yes probably at the money. but mostly, its because i feel like im getting cheated. Ive spent over 40K over the last 8 or so years trying to improve my health and i feel like everyone else in my family has it so easy and doesnt attempt to understand. all of the things i went thru not just with my physical health, but mental/emotional. i think ive done ok w/o getting any professional help from a therapist. mostly i get upset because they think there is nothing wrong with me. ive tried to pretend there is not, but it is definitely evident and baffles most i seek help from. the only real diagnosis i ever got from a doctor was fibromyalgia 5 years ago and that probably isn't entirely accurate (gov't study i went to to get free vicodin for pain). Anyway, after being extremely upset and crying, i felt completely alone. and instead of moping, i came to the realization i can't sit around and wait for someone else to help me. the following day i got up early to go to the gym, and went to go apply for a second job and am considering taking up a college course until december if its not too late to enroll here. I have picked up extra hours at work as well so that i can save up to do things i need to do. so far i am doing ok with the extra work involved, i think. I had a lot of bodywork done this week, worked on loosening very tight muscles and trigger points. I trade with about 3 people and this week i traded with all of them. so i got very deep treatments that were at times quite painful. I dont know if it was the fight with family, or junk being released from muscles and lymph, or something i ate, but i could not produce stool for 2 days after that fight. i drank a LOT of water even. I didnt talk to family and avoided them. this was around the time i had the dream about my best friend. One massage therapist said my sacral chakra was out, which has to do with emotions and sits near the reproductive organs. sexual desire has also decreased and have been irritable with my current guy. not because he is giving me attention this time. i felt smothered over the last couple weeks.

I am pretty sure that i ovulate 2 times in 1 month. once around day 13 (a week after i am done with period) and the other around day 26 (a week before period starts again). i get minor cramping in ovaries and discharge increases. today is day 32. emotions were pretty much up and down all week, cramps are occurring now. breast tenderness increased only a little bit, still much less than before.

Craving old foods, like milk, ramen, chocolate. things i haven't ate in a long time. I dont feel as guilty for eating junk as i usually do. overall still healthy eater.

Long report, sorry. was a weird roller coaster week.
 
jenny57401 last decade
Dear Sameer,
as i watched a plane fly today i wondered if my fear of flying is related to my fear of falling or failing in life. I feel like i have a lot to offer in different career fields but Im having a hard time tying them all in with one another, or picking one thing to start with. i fear if i pick just one its a wrong choice, or i wont be good enough at it in order to help others, and if i fly higher and higher in the wrong direction, i really just fear falling so far. just a thought i had. looking forward to your thoughts.
 
jenny57401 last decade
Overall, do you feel better than before the Pulsatilla dose ?

If, yes, what do you think are the main improvements ?

What are the things that became worse ?
 
sameervermani last decade
overall my improvements are more of a willingness and drive to take responsibility for my life w/o feeling like i need to have someone to hold me up. there were times i felt a bit lonely and as tho i didnt want to let go of that crutch, the need for someone to help me. but overall i have taken a lot more initiative in choices than usual. theres almost more of a need to be alone so that i dont fall back into the pattern of getting close to others and then look to them for support. also, the acne on my chest and back is better, still some on my face. i am also not as afraid at night for the most part. at time i leave only a dim night light on and no tv. i also do not panic when waking up in the middle of night. tho, at times i still get flashes of images and thoughts that scare me but its a little easier to be rational about them.

overall this week my mood was good and bad. sometimes its hard for me to tell if im suppressing feelings and thats why i feel good, or if i really feel good. so my moodiness seems to remain the same in regards to the week prior to my period. my hayfever symptoms blew up. Ive never had such terrible drawn out symptoms. this has been going on for months now. my muscle tightness seems to be getting worse even after all the massages and muscle therapy ive been receiving.

after reading many different descriptions of the puls patient i do believe it describes me well. overall i think this is a positive direction.
 
jenny57401 last decade
actually, acne is a lot worse on my face and neck. worst its been for a while. but chest and back are improving.
 
jenny57401 last decade
Hmm.. and do you think, the response to 200c has come to a complete halt or things are still in flux ?

Have things been the same for past 4-5 days ?
 
sameervermani last decade
i can't say for certain if 200c has halted. its quite possible. all i know the times i took 2 other 200c's i had taken 15 pellets under the tongue at a time 3 times spaced out about 12 hours apart. i noticed reactions from them about 5 weeks later. i took doses of puls differently as u advised but i do not know the difference. no major changes in the last 4-5 days that stick out in my mind. just the usual ups and downs a week before my period. today is day 32 of cycle and have cramps so i am expecting around day 35ish but it may be different this month again. my mind feels in flux and i feel like my body has stuff to dump but its just kinda being stopped up and slowed. yesterday i had diahreah but it was kind of self promoted, i stuck with tons of water and chicory root 'coffee' and did a lot of self massage in the colon area to get things moving. since then though, i never had a movement today yet. usually i eliminate in the morning. hope this helps, it is all kind of confusing to me what is going on with my body so im guessing its still in the midst of some kind of change?

thanks sameer.
 
jenny57401 last decade
There is no harm in waiting another week to be sure.

We will think about going to Puls 1M at that time.
 
sameervermani last decade
ok. im sure once my period comes i will even out. today i snapped at boyfriend, whereas with my family i am mellow because i already snapped at them in a more emotional way. seems like i have some underlying issues im not even sure i've addressed and im not sure what else to do other than keep to myself. i think i am mad at him for being broke, but maybe im more frustrated at myself for being in a similar predicament. seems like it could still be related to dependency, and perhaps i haven't 'let go' even tho i think i am letting go.

will report in a week, thanks
 
jenny57401 last decade
hey doc, feeling better after talking with boyfriend, i think my emotions get so irrational it clouds my judgement and i get super childish at times. when i feel understood it helps. will still report in a week to make sure i maintain...but i want to know if you can recommend some kind of pain killer that doesnt have harmful side effects like the allopathic kind. I want to get back into stretching and activity but i think it would be super helpful to have something to help with the pain. its the pain that discourages me from pushing further. i did well a few years ago when taking vicodin as far as activity goes but i do not want to rely on that harmful substance. been off it for years. the closest thing i've come to so far is this organic energy drink called Jungle Love. but i think it affects my adrenals too much and i noticed a dependency forming. if you have any ideas i would be so happy to hear.
 
jenny57401 last decade
Hi Jenny,

We need to stay with 1 remedy at a time.

So, right now, nothing homeopathic can be taken for the pain.

However, in the longer term I would expect the pains to respond to the treatment we are doing.
 
sameervermani last decade
ok, thank you for explaining, will report next week.
 
jenny57401 last decade
dear sameer
this is the most angry i have been in a while. i am experiencing the worst hayfever in my life, i have been screaming at the top of my lungs when no one is around today, very angry and at the point of giving up. this is unusual. i have had a temper as child and teenager but i have learned to hide it over the years. my sinuses are so irritated i can not be at work. nose drips, but it is clogged either on both sides all the time or just one. face and head itch, tears come to eyes, constant itchy nose as if i need to sneeze. this occurred last night after i tried to clear my nasal passage with the neti pot. this morning all till now has been horrible. i am trying to keep to self because i am so mad. will try to wait and be patient if u advise but i am miserable and i start classes in 2 days, and am trying to pick up extra hours at work to pay for my classes.
thank you
jenny
 
jenny57401 last decade
And, do you tend to have a lot of suppressed anger and emotions in general ?
 
sameervermani last decade
yes. i really have been angry for a long long time. i just kept telling myself im lucky and blessed and a fighter and continue to keep trying to improve rather than complain (although i do complain to close people i feel i can trust and are strong enough to handle my weaknesses.) i think the anger at one time drove me to improve, but thru the years i see im not improving. i think it started early on being angry with parents. we were not poor and not wealthy, both parents worked jobs, very good parents that did their best and love us (me and my two brothers, i am the middle child) very much they love us. i think i sought a deeper emotional connection very early on in life even around age 5 and 6, very sensitive as a child. i would pout often when i felt sad. i didnt get what i craved emotionally from parents. they were raised with unemotional parents as well. so i noticed when i would raise hell and complain, i would either get want i want, or i would get attention, negative or positive. as i got older i withdrew and internalized it i guess. perhaps seeking negative attention just so i could get attention of some kind. i havent screamed in a long time like i did today, begging God to just make this crap go away. i feel as if i was able to let SOMEthing go, not sure what. today its almost as if i realized ive been waiting all my life for someone to help me do something. i have the 'its not fair' mentality, still to this day, i noticed it when i went to enroll for college courses. it 'wasn't fair' that i had to pay for continuing education, not fair that my parents wont help me considering the health probs i went thru. My mom is the queen at using health as an excuse to improve her life. So, yes...lots of suppression because i feel the family or 'no one understands'. Its becoming clear i cant keep using that as an excuse. but when faced with the feelings today i had no choice but to 'let go' of control. i went on to be 'ok' in public and went to work and the allergies didnt quit...but i was at least not sneezing and irritably itchy. just clogged nose. it bothers me this 'its not fair'mentality is so part of my hardwiring that its hard for me to realize when im using it. also a bit mad at myself for wasting all this time being such a child. im very hard on myself, but am trying to focus on the positive things happening.
 
jenny57401 last decade
Dear Jenny,

Please take 3 doses of Staphysagria 30c, equally spaced by 1 hour, and report in 1 week.


Sameer
 
sameervermani last decade
3 doses... wet again or other? and how many pellets?

i must say i am surprised you changed remedy, but i trust you. this doesnt mean puls was wrong does it? because it seemed like it helped with the dependency issue. thanks sameer.
 
jenny57401 last decade
That doesn't mean it was wrong but there is an 'ailments from abuse' and 'ailments from suppressed anger/emotions' layer blocking the way.

2 pellets in 250 ml spring water, and 1 sip from there 3 times.
 
sameervermani last decade
thank you so much, after reading more about staph it makes sense. i almost wanted to explain excuses as to other reasons i could have been angry today such as suppressed period. my older brother and I fought somewhat regular and of course he always physically overpowered me. maybe thats why i would play the sympathy card with parents because i felt thats the only way i could 'win' against him. and my mom is big on suppressing confrontation and anger.

will report when advised. thank you again so much sameer.
 
jenny57401 last decade
just letting you know i received staph and am taking it in the next hour. my period arrived today also (day 37 of cycle), the most suppressed since february when it was 39 days in between cycle. my mind, emotions and anger let up a day before yesterday. i also wanted to note the similarities i found with staph, even the sensitive teeth around menses, mercury poisening (i tested high for mercury in past and wondered if it was related to the many amalgam fillings in my mouth) i received most fillings as a child/adolescent because of high sugar intake. thats all that comes to my mind right now, will report in 1 week from today. thanks sameer.

jenny
 
jenny57401 last decade
Okay, sounds good.
 
sameervermani last decade
hi sameer,
not quite 7 days yet, end of day 5 today. i dont know how much longer i can stand these allergies w/o anything helping them. i took staph 30c on friday. on sunday i was fine, i didn't feel uncomfortable at all. i had diarrhea for most of the day, drinking more liquids than i usually do but not excessive. i got emotional on sunday also and annoyed, irritable. eating chocolate, craving food but dont know what, overeating tendency again. monday my allergies got bad again, i got some things done on a productive level but i was miserable on the inside. lethargic and not knowing what i want. today was terrible, again...the allergies persisted so much that i was so upset i had a few outbursts of screams. i worked all day and was very annoyed that i even went to work, the managers saw i was miserable and sneezing every few minutes and i still stuck it out w/o medication. one of the girls understood what allergies are like she has them real bad. another regular customer recommended allerplex. i was soooo irritible at work but i think i covered it well. by the time i got off work it was pouring rain out and i got home soaking wet and i was achey from head to toe, mostly tension, heavy heavy tension all in my back and neck. soooo uncomfortable i could cry or scream. i came home to find someone else already using the bath tub and i had a shortlived raised voice around my family. brings me to now. i dont know how i can function like this much longer without blowing up or snapping somehow. i have school and work and i live with fam and i feel like i am bound to let loose in one of them, more than likely people close to me or even possibly work. also, much itching with these allergies i cant even stand hair in my face. i also feel like i am on the verge of a bad break out and i see a LOT of 'just under the surface' bumps that if i picked at would add up to a lot of red marks on my face and neck. the bumps are flesh colored for the most part but i know they are there and i feel them underneath my skin and i have a bad history/habit of picking my face to just get it out. leads to ugly marks and redness and im trying to avoid going overboard because its just a downward spiral from there. please help. thank u

jenny
 
jenny57401 last decade
forgot to add...plane dreams have been returning. they had gone away for a while but the last two nights ive had dreams of planes, either crashing or just seeing planes in dream. also recurring dreams of bridges with gaps in them, some shopping, road trips/getting lost. boats and water. period is over with very dark brown spotting on day 5. scanty period.
 
jenny57401 last decade

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