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Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? Page 27 of 33

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Hi Sameer

I don't have notes in front of me so I'll be relying on memory here.

Overall, physically, I got a little more run down. The acne on my chest back and face continued. It has recently gotten a little better.

The med I take on the weekends ( tindamax ) would usually give me terrible headaches and make me not want to do anything but lay. The weekend after taking 200c I got minor headache on Saturday and no headache at all on Sunday.

My body has been more tired, but I worked 37 hours. I didn't manage to stay all the way on track with my exercising but I'm getting mentally motivated to keep a better diet and focus more instead of wasting my time with idle nothingness.

I did not have many fevers. My temp stayed around 97-98 on avg.

My weight held steady around 118. This is a solid 4 pound gain.

The last couple days I've been pretty sensitive. A couple days ago iwas simply listening to pandora radio and apparently pandora thought I wanted to listen to a bunch of melancholy love crap. I let my mind go somewhere not so great, and I cried, not really sure what about. I think sometimes I just wonder if I know what I'm doing. I changed the station and went to sleep. Felt better in the morning.

The next day my dads very good friend died. I grew up knowing him he was a very good man. Selfless. I've found myself thinking a lot about why I do things, and whether they are selfish or selfless reasons. I know I've been very selfish all my life, even though I care very much about others. Recently I've been finding I do things differently. It's challenging to be consistent at it because I'm so used to being the way I've been. On one hand it feels good to be giving and not worry about if I'm being used, on the other hand it puts me in an uncomfortable position and old fears attempt to surface. I do good at talking myself out of them.

Overall, even with a few mental slides, I'd say I'm headed in the right direction. A more mature, self reliant, selfless me.

I had a biocompatibility test done ( to see what metals and dental brands I'm most and least reactive to ).

I'm highly reactive to Aluminum, Bismuth, Cadmium, Copper, Lithium, Mercury, Zinc Acetate, and Zirconium.

My almagam fillings consist of 47% mercury, 13% copper. And the rest is silver and tin, both of which I'm least reactive to.

I know when I was 17 and using meth, the last time I ever used I could see the lithium chunks left from the batteries used. I think that short period of just a couple months of drug use really messed me up. The chemicals that I didn't realize we're going into my body, the thought disgusts me. But oh well, it happened.

Also, I'm highly reactive to the composites (white fillings) that were installed. Z250 is the brand.

Anyway, the plan is to get as much as possible replaced. I know that will lessen some of the burden on my immune system.

Let me know what u think. My dr does want me on low dose meds for 4 more weeks. I'm taking all of January off meds while I get the dental work done.

Thank you Sameer.
jenny57401 8 years ago
I think the remedy is correct, and we should give it 2 more weeks.
sameervermani 8 years ago
I think ur right, thanks talk to u in a couple.
jenny57401 8 years ago
Hi Sameer,

My cycle was a little different this time.

Premenstrual breast swelling went down. I still had it but not for as long as the last few cycles.

My first day was more than just spotting. I had regular to moderate flow for 3 days instead of just one or two. My cramps still were few to nonexistent.

I was, however, very fatigued and irritable. I got so irritated one day that I actually yelled. Loudly. It was by myself, but I haven't gotten that mad in a long time. I even threw a book at the wall. I haven't thrown anything in a long time either.

I used to get like that years ago. Frustrated, impatient, I would get so mad that id break things, slammed doors so hard into the wall itd put holes in it, i was just overall mad and I didn't really have a good/justifiable reason to be. When I ask myself now what I'm mad about, I'd say because it feels like I try so hard to do everything right but I never get exactly what I want. It doesn't matter how right I try to do things it seems I keep taking ten steps back and I feel like its not fair even though I know theres a reason for going thru this. I just get so tired, and I want to understand why things are this way and what I'm supposed to do with it.

I've been feeling a tendency to over eat and drink coffee.

My dreams have involved a lot of running and being chased the last few days. And anger. One dream I was in a house of poor people who were supposed to be family. We all had lost someone we loved and I was in a room crying by myself. My ex bf came in and consoled me but then a man with an axe came in and broke the window at the top of the stairs. I knew he was coming to hurt all of us and I got scared and ran up the other stair case out the back way and was about to escape out the window, but my ex stopped me and told me how selfish I was being to leave everyone inside just to save myself. He said he was gonna stay and help them, I wanted to stay and help too, but I was too scared. I jumped into the dark night and ran and tried to find help. I felt guilty, i came to a house party that was brightly lit up. I tried dialing 911 but couldn't get through. Then some guy came up to me with a drug filled syringe and stabbed me in the chest. That was the end of the dream.

I didn't wake up scared. It's not like I'm too scared to sleep in the dark either. I sometimes don't even open the shades to let the moonlight and street light in. I'm just angry and scared in the dreams I have.

My skin is very dry, still somewhat breaking out even though I've been on small antibiotic doses.

I feel run down physically and mentally I'm exhausted. But I keep struggling along and making sure I at least meet my minimum of 30 hours a week. I'm trying to go with the flow of stuff but sometimes I can't help but try to control the outcome. I have ridiculously high expectations of myself.

I really have no reason to complain and I dont think im really complaining at all. Im just noticing whats happening. I certainly try not to complain. I was just a whole lot more Uncensored with myself this menstrual cycle in terms of expressing anger/frustration. I get tired of holding it in and feeling bad for being that upset.

Let me know what u think I should do next. Thank you Sameer.
jenny57401 8 years ago
'I used to get like that years ago. '

Old feelings can come back during treatment. So, we should wait for a few more days and see if this passes. Please report in 1 week.

sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer,

I made it to San Diego. I had a stressful time getting here. The plane ride was fine on the way to Vegas but I have been so busy because of the convention u got burnt out. In the last week I lost my briefcase ( it was returned the next day ), got stood up at least a couple times. No one was doing what they said they would do.

My ex who lives in Vegas was supposed to drive me to SD but he decided to drop me off at Ontario airport instead. I was very upset over how he had been treating me huge whole time I was in Vegas.

Luckily my friend who lives not too far from Ontario came to get me and took me the rest of the way.

On the car ride down I got very sick. Achey, flu like fever and I feel sick now after sleeping all night.

I really can't have a fever tomorrow as I'm getting major dental work done and it may make me more sick.

Is there anything that can be done to make me feel better before tomorrow?

Thank u.
jenny57401 8 years ago
So, what are the symptoms of this achey, flu like fever ?

For every symptom I need as much as possible of the following:
-What accompanies the complaint in any other body part?
-What makes it better or worse ? When does it get worse or better ?
sameervermani 8 years ago

Aches all over especially in joints and spine up to neck. Headache. Worst pain is in back (all parts esp. lower) and my knees and yea, all joints.


Feels like I'm being crushed. Very stiff. shooting pain. Very very sensitive skin. Feels burnt.

-What accompanies the complaint in any other body part?

I am having major shortness of breath. Fever right now is 99.5. I'm able to drive but walking is exhausting. Sleeping during the night I had a bit of nausea.

-What makes it better or worse ?
Heat helps a lot for the aches. But it makes fever worse. I had chills last night. Night sweats. This sounds like a babesia flare.

When does it get worse or better ?

It just started last evening and it's slowly getting better I think but I'm so weak and short of breath. I made it to OB to get healthy food at the co-op. When I eat bad food I get worse and I've been bad at watching my diet in Vegas. I was stressed out and in pain but pushed thru it and it feels like its catching up to me.
jenny57401 8 years ago
100.2 now
jenny57401 8 years ago
Take a dose of Pulsatilla, the highest LM potency you have with 7 hits to the bottle, and 2 drops in 250 ml water, 1 spoon as dose.

sameervermani 8 years ago
I'm in San Diego and don't have any of my remedies with me :-(

won't be home for another week.

Anywhere in town I can get my hands on some?
jenny57401 8 years ago
e-mailed you.
sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer,

After Puls 30c my fever went down. I developed more acne on chest. I was well enough to get the rest of my teeth worked on and it went well enough that I didn't get worse.

After Puls (shortly after feeling better) I developed a UTI. I had to go to urgent care because it developed very rapidly and was quite painful.

I haven't had a UTI in about 4 years. I used to get them quite often from 2003-2007.

I took an antibiotic and the orange pain medication. The antibiotic gave me chest pain, so I switched to Cipro. I'm doing better now.

The flight home I was not mentally that great. I was very sad and disappointed. I was sick the entire time in San Diego and only got to see the ocean from my train window as I rode up to LA area for my plane ride home.

I had pain before the plane ride so I took Vicoprofen. Then the cockpit was having technical difficulties so I took Triazolam to help me calm down. By the time the flight took off, i felt like neither had much of an effect on me so i had some wine (I haven't drank any alcohol for months and months).

My flight went very well at that point, fast even.

Not sure how I feel now, but after getting home and back to work, i have tremendous discomfort in my back. Through being very ill I got so achy that it actually hurt in my chest to take breaths because of how tight the muscles are.

Now that I'm home I'm trying to seriously cut back on taking any medications, including pain meds. I can better manage symptoms when home, eating properly, etc.

Let me know if there is anything I can do from here. All remedies are at hand.

Thank you Sameer!
jenny57401 8 years ago
The return of the UTI was a good sign, and ideally should have been allowed to play out.

But nevertheless, I understand, since you were travelling it's harder to manage an acute situation without instant relief.

How do you feel mentally ?
sameervermani 8 years ago
yes, i wanted to let it ride out, but i was up to you know where with feeling ill.

mentally, now, better after being home. i'm in a little different place than i usually am.

i think after being disappointed so thoroughly by a number of people and situations out there, i'm becoming a lot more interested in letting people from the past go. i don't engage in arguments or debates, i'm just kind of done with people that can't contribute to a positive relationship. and i don't feel bad about it.

it's helping me be a lot more focused in sitting down with myself to plan out how to accomplish what i want to accomplish. i don't have that completely figured out yet, but that's the point, i'm way more interested in figuring that out and i feel a lot closer to taking risks vs playing it safe.

part of what was making me sad is that i have a strong desire to be somewhere like San Diego again, somewhere warm. but i'm torn because my family and life is here. I'm a little afraid to just up and leave because i've grown so much in the last 4-5 years here. in ways i'm very happy, but in other ways i feel like it's time for me to move on, i just don't know what that looks like or where i'll be moving on to.

but, i'm doing ok. to sum it all up, i'm feeling more focused, which is urging me to be less emotional. which is good.
[message edited by jenny57401 on Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:38:31 GMT]
jenny57401 8 years ago
Let's wait for another week then. Just keep track of any symptoms which come up.
sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer

Hope all is well with u.

I'm doing good.

I am still very very achy in my back and neck. Feels out of place and knotted up, burns. Heat helps.

I was very motivated last week and over the weekend. It's dwindled since Monday in my personal home life. I am active and busy at work but I've struggled a bit with staying motivated at home. Perhaps I'm just really tired. I'm mostly restless and a little unsettled.

My dads friend died Sunday (2nd close friend in 2 months) and I've had my dad and his friends family on my mind. I'm not very much affected by the loss in general. I knew him growing up and i was very shocked to learn of his death, but im most affected when I think of what his family is going through. I think about how I would feel I I lost my father so suddenly. I'd be devastated I really couldn't imagine.

Thinking about things like that make me really think about life in general and what we're doing here. It doesn't depress me but I guess I'm a little saddened.

I'd say overall my mental changes are better after puls but I feel I'm losing a little momentum. Id like to be really active.

My dreams, I actually had a plane dream, except this time I fell out, with my mother, and we fell thru some trees that broke our fall, we lived. Other than that there were a couple dreams involving showers. One shower I took in a closet and the other was regular. For whatever reason, these stood out to me.

Acne on chest is subsided.
No fever

Let me know if I should consider dosing.

Thank u Sameer
jenny57401 8 years ago
Okay, please procure the next LM potency of Pulsatilla (next 2 of what you last took), and talk to me when you have the remedy bottles.
sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer,

I finally got Puls LM 7 & 8 with me.

I am SUPER irritable with people. I've been working full time and spending all my free time being doing freelance projects (most of which are unpaid).

My manager and mom got sick and they cough all over the place not covering their mouth and it's really crazy annoying i kind of want to throw stuff at them when they do that and i think they got me sick because I have been not feeling very well lately. Runny nose yesterday, coughing (tickle in throat). nothing major but I was running a small fever and I've been really achy. I know i'm overworking myself and not drinking enough water but all these people are making demands on my time and i'm not handling it as well as I was a couple weeks ago.

Let me know if I can dose. Thanks Sameer,
jenny57401 8 years ago
Ok, please dose with LM7, just 1 dose, 1 drop in 250 ml water, stir with a spoon and take a spoon. Throw the rest of the 250 ml solution.

Report after 1 week.
sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer!

I'm posting a day early.

mentally improved a lot. not as irritable.

I've really enjoying my time. Saturday I decided to go out into the country specifically to look for a snowy owl lol. They are migrating down this way this year and i hadn't seen one yet, so... i wanted to see one.

After getting out there and driving around aimlessly for a little while, it dawned on me this was no easy task, to go out in search of one bird. But I didn't give up hope, I figured either way, I already got to see a hawk (I like watching birds in general and I feed them every day), that was good enough for me and so I decided to just enjoy the ride.

Intuitively, I surprised myself! We came to a stop sign in the country and we were going to go straight (I wasn't driving) so I stopped the driver before he could go any further (by stopping I mean I raised my hand to him, saying 'halt' and just didn't talk lol), and I motioned him to go right.

Not even a half mile down the road, i was digging through my purse looking for my phone, and the driver spotted a snowy owl sitting on a fence post near the road, facing us. It was pretty amazing! It was a really big boost to me because I felt like I could trust my intuition, and also not be emotionally attached to any particular outcome.

physically, later that day the tickle in my throat that was forming turned into swollen glands and a bit of a sore throat.

by morning I had a full on head cold and fever and body aches.

Now, I don' know if this is Puls acting, or just me catching a cold.

I normally DON'T catch colds, due to the lyme/my immune system not being able to handle it. But the symptoms are exactly what the two people at work went through that were coughing all over the place not covering their mouths.

So, I'm going to go to work today and cough on them :)

No, I really won't do that, but I am going to go to work for a little bit.

Mentally I'm pretty decent still. I've been working on some 'mantras' for negativity. In fact I actually went from just a tickle in my throat to this full on cold after starting them. And last night I had weird flashes of negative/scary images like I used to have. Except this time, I just observed them, I wasn't scared.

Breasts have been swollen for a few days, they are subsiding so I think my period will be on time for the 15th. 32 day cycle.

Guessing you might want me to wait, thought I would report anyway to make sure.

Thanks Sameer.
jenny57401 8 years ago
You are right, let's wait for 3 more days :)
sameervermani 8 years ago
i've been teary eyed the last 3 days off and on. have been lashing out at a few people, deserving or not. overall not good. i feel like since puls i've been backsliding in the whole emotional arena. i felt much more in control on lac can. Puls helps for a few days and then i'm a mess again. I feel crazy.
jenny57401 8 years ago
You initially had said, that you 'mentally, improved a lot' on Puls dose that you took last ?
sameervermani 8 years ago
I do mentally improve for a few days until it seems to wear off. I just mean when it wears off I feel like I've gone back into how I used to emotionally react to things, which is pretty irrational and it feels like I'm clinging to relationships again. Maybe I thought I had gotten rid of the 'dislike of being alone' thing. Maybe that waz because i didnt feel alone.

I realized I use relationships, or perceived relationships, to define my self worth. If i dont have a harem of people or men feeding my ego i feel uneasy. And I've been noticing that most people (men) no matter how much they have claimed to care or want me to play a certain role in their lives, they have all not been able to commit any amount of time to actually get to know me. And I'm like, why am I wasting energy and thought on these people who plainly don't care? Whats wrong with me? I know im a nice person, im told im pretty and im pretty sure last i checked im a fairly independent lady with a decent head on her shoulders. I dont complain about being ill and i dont use it for sympathy. When I started to weed out those people I've found I'm left with very few that i can truly consider friends.

There's been three in particular this week that flat out have insisted I'm snotty, 'not all that', and that I insist on being miserable. All were men who, before, consistently blew smoke up my a** about how great I am. I just don't understand where this is coming from and it really hurts my feelings because to me it sounds like I'm being perceived as a selfish self indulged jerk. Im not that. Ive cared very much about those people and feel I have showed it.

Obviously there is some characteristic I carry that makes these people think I'm made if stone. But I have very deep insecure feelings that I've had for a long long time, all surrounding abandonment. and while I've gotten better at feeling better about myself, there must still be something I'm not understanding.

I want to be happy. I want to get rid of the vices I turn to to make me feel better temporarily. And the main vice is feeling wanted by a man, in particular. It sounds dumb and crazy when I say that because there are a lot of men who want me that I've turned away and I'm wondering why the guys that I wanted to want me don't want me enough to have me.

See. Crazy.

I just want to really really like myself. All the time. Not like myself because other people say they like me. I've been asking 'what would it take for me to really LOVEmyself.' and then over the last week people have just been disappearing or too busy or overall ignoring me/brushing me off. I guess I need to be alone to figure out how to like myself but it just doesn't feel very good right now and I've been too sad to even accomplish tasks.

Sorry for the ramble.
jenny57401 8 years ago
Please procure LM1 and LM2 of Lac-c then in 30 ml teat dropper bottles from Helios.
sameervermani 8 years ago

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